Why Achieving Your Goals Feels So Hard: What Can I Do About It?
We all set goals at different points in life—whether it’s improving our health, learning something new, changing careers, or building stronger relationships. But how often do we find ourselves struggling to follow through? If you’ve ever felt stuck, unmotivated, or overwhelmed when working toward your goals, you’re not alone.
In this article, we’ll explore why achieving goals can feel so hard, introduce a practical tool called SMART goal-setting, and consider how counselling can help uncover deeper barriers that may be holding you back.
Why Is It So Hard to Achieve Goals?
It’s easy to assume that if we’re not meeting our goals, we must be lazy or unmotivated. But the truth is often more complex. Many people face common challenges when working toward their goals, including:
1. Lack of clarity
Vague goals like “get healthier” or “be happier” can be hard to act on because they don’t provide a clear direction or measurable outcome.
2. Perfectionism and fear of failure
Some people hold themselves to impossibly high standards. The fear of not doing something “perfectly” can be so intense that it stops them from starting at all.
3. Low motivation or burnout
When life feels overwhelming, even small steps toward a goal can feel exhausting. If your goals aren’t personally meaningful or aligned with your values, motivation tends to fade quickly.
4. External pressure
Are you chasing goals because they truly matter to you—or because you feel expected to? Goals based on someone else’s approval (family, society, social media) often lead to burnout or resentment.
5. Limiting beliefs and self-sabotage
Thoughts like “I’m not good enough,” “I never follow through,” or “I always mess things up” can become self-fulfilling. These inner critics are often shaped by past experiences.
SMART Goals – A Simple Tool to Get You Started
One way to make your goals more achievable is by using the SMART framework. This method helps turn vague intentions into clear, actionable steps:
S – Specific: What exactly do you want to achieve?
M – Measurable: How will you track your progress?
A – Achievable: Is this realistic for you right now?
R – Relevant: Do your actions align with your overall goal?
T – Time-bound: What’s your timeframe?
Let’s look at a common example.
A goal like “I want to exercise to get fit” might sound fine, but it lacks clarity. What does “fit” actually mean? What kind of exercise? Why is it important? Without these details, it’s hard to stay motivated or know when you’ve succeeded.
Let’s apply the SMART framework to rework this goal step by step.
(Note: This is just a demonstration of the SMART approach—not health advice.)
S – Specific: What exactly do you want to achieve?
I want to look good and feel fit for beach sports during my upcoming island holiday in Bali this September.
M – Measurable: How will you track progress?
My first idea was to walk to work daily instead of driving—about 45 minutes each way.
A – Achievable: Is this realistic for you right now?
After considering the cold, dark Melbourne winter and frequent rain, I realised this might not be realistic.
Let’s go back a step to revise our plan.
M – Measurable: How will you track progress?
I will walk for 1.5 hours each day on my walking pad at home while watching three episodes of my favourite TV show.
I’ll record my progress using a diary card and track my weight weekly, aiming to lose 5 kg before my trip.
A – Achievable: Is this realistic for you right now?
Yes—this fits my routine because I already watch about two hours of TV daily and have a walking pad at home. It feels doable.
R – Relevant: Do the actions support your goal?
Yes—daily walking helps build stamina and supports weight loss, both of which contribute to feeling better and more confident on my beach holiday.
T – Time-bound: What’s your timeframe?
I’m leaving for Bali on 15 September—about three months away—so I have a clear deadline to work toward.
Putting It All Together:
“I will walk 1.5 hours on my walking pad at home while watching TV on weekdays, track my progress with a daily diary card, and weigh myself weekly. My goal is to lose 5 kg by 15 September, in time for my island holiday.”
Now compare that with the original: “I want to exercise to get fit.”
Which one feels more concrete and motivating?
When your goal includes clear details, your brain knows what steps to take. That structure makes it easier to follow through—and builds a sense of achievement as you go.
SMART goals help break down big dreams into small, manageable actions—helping you gain momentum and confidence along the way.
When Tools Aren’t Enough – Exploring Deeper Barriers
Sometimes, even with the right structure, we still feel stuck. This can be a sign that something deeper is getting in the way. Common internal barriers include:
- Fear of success or change: Reaching your goal might bring unfamiliar challenges.
- Unresolved past experiences: Childhood dynamics or past failures can shape our current mindset.
- Cultural or family pressures: These can quietly influence how we prioritise our time, energy, and sense of self-worth.
If you notice recurring patterns—like always giving up just before making progress, or constantly doubting your abilities—these could be signs that deeper exploration would be helpful.
How Counselling Can Help You Reach Your Goals
Counselling isn’t only for people in crisis—it can be a powerful space to reflect, grow, and reconnect with your inner drive.
A therapist can help you:
- Clarify your values and what really matters to you
- Understand what’s been holding you back
- Work through self-doubt and emotional blocks
- Develop strategies and routines to support your goals
- Stay grounded and resilient when motivation dips
At Ashore Wellness, we take a compassionate, culturally sensitive approach to therapy. Whether you are navigating life transitions, struggling with self-discipline, or exploring your identity, we’re here to support you.
Struggling with your goals doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’re human. Real progress often involves uncovering your true motivations, working through barriers, and building a plan that fits your life.
If you’re ready to move from feeling stuck to making steady progress, counselling can help you take that next step with clarity and confidence.
Ready to talk?
Ashore Wellness offers individual counselling sessions in Moonee Ponds or via Telehealth. Whether you’re setting new goals or feeling lost about where to start, we’re here to support you with empathy and professional care.
Make an appointment today or contact us for more information.
